I find myself looking at my daughter and her friends and often cannot understand how they think. It sometimes feels like they are in a world all their own; in reality, they are. My family situation growing up was very unique as it consisted of so many different generations: The Greatest Generation which was my Dad (born in 1920), The Silent Generation which was my Mom (born in 1934), the Baby Boomer Generation (my brother and sister born in the 50′) and Generation X (Me, born in 1969). Each person in my family grew up in a different time in the world and there were few grounds for comparison. Having a Gen Z daughter is different again and led me to the question, “How to understand your Gen Z children”.
Which Generation Are Gen Z Most Like?
Trying to understand the way my daughter and her friends think has been a surprising journey. I would have thought each generation was closest in values to the generation before. Nothing could be further from the truth. The generation that is most like Gen Z is …wait for it…the Silent Generation. I kid you, not our teenagers and your adult children are most like the generation born between 1928 and 1945. Depending on when your parents started having children your child could be most like your parent, grandparents and even great-grandparents. This was a shocking revelation because (ironically) I tried to parent my daughter the opposite of how I was raised.
Why Gen Z Are Most Like The Silent Generation
Gen Z children are most like the Silent Generation because of two key factors; war and economy. Our children have already lived through two financial crises an unstable economy and COVID-19. They live in a time when they are concerned about how to pay for food, find a job, and pay for a house. Additionally, they are living in a time of unrest, particularly with the “war on terrorism” and the “Israel/Palestine war”.
Things Only Gen Z Will Understand
Generation Z children are the only kids who have gone through Covid-19 in their school-age years. The years when our children learn the most about socializing, teamwork, dating, writing exams, and going to school dances were missed. For many, they experienced no prom and no graduation ceremony. Even more challenging they went through high school with never having written an exam. This in itself is huge. When my daughter went to university she had primarily written papers (essays) and had not experienced the fine minutia required to write an exam. Suffice it to say exams were a struggle as was the case for most of her classmates.
The Social part of University was also a struggle. While many kids hated the Covid lockdown the ones dealing with stress and anxiety loved it. During COVID my daughter was the happiest she had ever been. Many students felt the same way, not having to deal with people constantly was amazing. You didn’t need coping mechanisms because there were fewer things to cope with. This was all great until everyone returned to “the real world”, a world full of people, compromise, socialization and opposing beliefs. I found that I even struggled a bit (and I love people), all of a sudden it felt like there were people everywhere and the level of noise was inescapable. For many of our children (those who suffer from depression, worry and anxiety) the return to school was a nightmare and while some parents understood this others did not.
How To Understand Gen Z
To understand Gen Z you need to understand the world they are living in. Unlike any other generation, this is the generation of automation and the internet. Additionally, this is the generation of Social Media. These two things are what you truly need to understand. Your children are worried. Worried that AI will replace people. They worry about Global warming, the economy, government, human rights, our planet and if the information they are being provided is true.
In addition, social media is bombarding them with images of what they should look like, how they should act and what they should aspire to. When I was growing up the people I wanted to look like were the Sears Models, or, the contestants of the Miss America Pageant. While I wanted to look like those girls I also realized that it was completely unrealistic. For our kids, the expectation is that every girl should look like Miss America.
This generation can typically be found in front of a screen instead of being outside and interacting with other children. Technology is a big problem for our kids because it leads to a lack of socialization, exercise and imagination. It is also creating a group of kids with no patience because through technology they can do and get everything “now”. Information, movies, music and even purchases are available at the touch of a button. Additionally, they can create anything through AI in minutes. While many see this as progress it leads to as many problems as it solves.
How To Help Your Gen Z Children
The fact that you are reading this article is already a great step. Understanding the world your child is living in is key. Every generation has its challenges, but, it seems like our kids are struggling in a world that is different from any other. If your child is having a tough time, or, they feel like you don’t understand, validate those feelings. The worst thing you can say is, “I know exactly how you feel”. Talk to them and explain that you don’t understand all of their problems, but, you would like to. Allow them to voice their concerns and listen. It is after you have that you can offer your help. Again ask them if they would like your help to come up with a solution, or if they would simply like you to listen. Sometimes that is all our kids want, our love and support.
There is an excellent article on Forbes discussing this topic further. If you would like to learn more please check it out.
Additionally, I have written an article on, “How to Build Self-Confidence in Kids”, that you may find useful.