You Can’t Tell Me What To Do

Tell me if you have heard this – “you can’t tell me what to do”? While my daughter never said that to me, my nieces and nephews certainly have. If I had said that to my parent I would have gotten a spanking. In my household what my parents said went, there was no debate. I didn’t get spanked because I knew who the boss was and it wasn’t me.

Television and Our Kids

I sometimes wonder when it was that kids began to get so bold. I do know that they didn’t get the way they are by watching “Leave It To Beaver” (if you don’t know Leave It to Beaver you’ll have to look it up). Our children are being exposed to sex, murder and a blatant lack of respect for their parents daily. While we were busy watching The Flintstones, our children watch shows like “Never Have I Ever” and “Riverdale”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude but the content of teen fiction is staggering. Our kids are having less and less time to be kids and are exposed to sex, rape and murder at a young age. Not only are they being more exposed to it the things kids are allowed to do have changed as well.

Things Your Children Are Allowed To Do Legally

I will share a list with you that will blow your mind! Hold onto your hats and get ready to learn some of the craziest things you have ever heard.

• Children are legally allowed to have sex at the age of 12 as long as their partner is no more than 2 years older
• From 14-15, they can have sex with anyone less than 5 years older
• From 16-17, they can have sex with anyone of any age
• Under 16 you can have sex BUT you cannot be out alone between the hours of 12:00 and 6:00 am
• Once you are 16 years of age you can leave home
• Additionally, at 16 you can block your parents from seeing your police record
• Once you turn 18 you can quit school, vote, make a will, buy a lottery ticket AND (are you sitting down) you can get married
• While you can get married at 18 you cannot drink until you are 19 (unless you are in your parent’s home and then you can drink legally at any age!)

The information above blew my mind. Seriously, who came up with these laws? You can have sex at the age of 12 yet you cannot be out past midnight until you are 16? As a parent, these laws mean we have no control and our kids can do whatever the heck they want. What rights do parents have, the answer, is practically none.

What To Do When You Can’t Tell Your Kids What To Do

When our children are allowed (by law) to do anything they want what do you do? The real answer to this question is, not much. As a parent, you are there to offer support, guidance and advice (if requested). The first thing your teenager needs to understand is that there are family or household rules. Examples of this are responsibilities that each member of your family has to make life run smoothly. Additionally, household rules are in place to ensure that everyone stays safe and can thrive. Ensure your children understand sex, and STDs and that if they are having sex they need to be prepared for the fact that they could become a parent (it doesn’t hurt to scare them, just a little).

Additional Help For Your Children

If you are constantly hearing the phrase, “You can’t tell me what to do” you may require additional support. If your child is struggling you may require the services of a Therapist or Life Coach. A Life Coach can benefit your child by helping determine what they truly want (which explains why they are acting the way they do) and by creating a plan to help them get it. The second primary goal of the Coach is to hold your kids accountable and keep them on track.

Learn more about the role of a Family Life Coach. If you would like to book a free consultation I would welcome the opportunity to speak with you.

P.S- if you live in the US and would like to learn about its laws this is an interesting article.