I sometimes wonder why certain kids seem to be brimming with self-confidence while others barely have any. If you have a child that lacks confidence you may wonder the same thing.
Generally, I like to think that I am a pretty confident person, surprisingly my husband and daughter are not. I tell them both all of the time how wonderful they both are, however, they do not seem to believe me. It makes no sense to me. My husband is a good-looking guy (think, Richard Gere), an Engineer and a really kind person. My daughter is a lifeguard, on the Dean’s List at University and the kindest, most inclusive person you could ever meet. Why my telling them coupled with their many accomplishments isn’t enough to change their mind was a mystery.
If I had known 20 years ago what I know now, perhaps things would be different. It took me countless courses and books to teach me what I should have known along. You cannot make someone confident only they can do that. It doesn’t matter how often we tell our kids they are amazing. If they don’t believe it to be true our words of validation are useless.
Lack of Confidence
If your child lacks confidence you can talk until you are blue in the face and it won’t make a difference (this does not mean you should stop telling them). Children need validation from their parents, but, more importantly, they need to validate themselves. So, how do we do that? How do we teach our kids to have self-confidence? The simple answer is, we give them activities that will help foster confidence and happiness.
Ways to Help Foster Confidence
Encourage Their Passions: Kids are like little explorers, trying to uncover their interests and talents. Whether painting, playing soccer, or writing stories, it can make a huge difference if you encourage them to pursue what they love. Celebrate their achievements, no matter how small, and remind them that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way.
Practice Positive Affirmations: Words are powerful! Help your child develop a habit of speaking kindly to themselves. Encourage them to come up with positive affirmations like “I am capable,” “I am unique,” or “I am enough.” These simple phrases can work wonders in boosting their self-esteem and helping them navigate through challenges with a positive mindset.
Teach Resilience: Life is full of ups and downs, and teaching our kids how to bounce back from setbacks is crucial. Encourage them to view failures as opportunities to learn and grow. Share stories of your own failures and how you overcame them. By showing them that setbacks are a natural part of life, you’ll empower them to face challenges with confidence and resilience.
Lead by Example: As adults, we serve as role models for our children. Show them what self-confidence looks like by demonstrating positive self-talk, taking risks, and embracing your strengths and weaknesses.
Create a Supportive Environment: Children thrive in environments where they feel safe, supported, and valued. Often as parents, we feel the need to weigh in on what our child is saying. The reality is your child probably wants you to listen, they are not always looking for an answer, they merely want to be heard. By creating a safe space for them to express themselves, you’ll help them develop a strong sense of self-worth.
Celebrate Diversity: Teach your children to embrace diversity and appreciate the unique qualities in themselves and others. Encourage them to explore different cultures, perspectives, and interests. By celebrating diversity, you’ll help them develop empathy, compassion, and a broader sense of self-confidence.
Teach Gratitude: Teach your children about gratitude and let them explore things they are thankful for.
Have the Recognize Their Strengths: Let your child think about the things he/she is good at. Sit down with them and have them share some things that are great about themselves.
Give Your Children Chores: When we give our kids chores they feel a sense of accomplishment when they complete them. Chores also help your child feel like they are contributing to the family and add value.
Set Realistic Goals: Goal-setting is a fantastic way to build confidence and motivation. Sit down with your child and brainstorm some achievable goals together. Whether it’s acing a math test, making new friends, or learning a new skill, breaking big goals into smaller, manageable steps can make them feel more attainable. And don’t forget to celebrate their progress along the way!
Hypnosis For Self-Confidence
Did you know that hypnosis can be a helpful tool in boosting self-confidence? Through guided relaxation and focused attention, hypnosis can help kids tap into their subconscious mind and reframe negative beliefs and thoughts about themselves. By accessing this deep level of awareness, they can instill positive affirmations and images that bolster their self-esteem and confidence. With regular practice, hypnosis can empower our kids to break free from self-doubt and embrace their true potential with newfound confidence and self-assurance.
Final Thoughts
Remember, building self-confidence in kids is a journey, not a destination. Be patient, be consistent, and most importantly, be there for them every step of the way. With your guidance and support, they’ll grow into confident, resilient individuals ready to take on the world!
Resources
I have written a great book for elementary school children that you may find helpful. The book speaks to everything above, is a quick read and has cute pictures (if I say so myself). Additionally, you will find a gratitude journal, daily affirmations and a chore chart.
